From Judaism to Jesus Christ — Part Two
My Battle with Evil
by Nancy Goldberg Hilton

In addition to my Jewish prayers, I wanted to find a way to fill the emptiness inside. I began watercolor painting, which helped. Any artistic or outdoor activity can give us a reprieve from the dictates of the world. However, a friend told me about her belief in a New Age religion and suggested she might get help from a spirit guide. Curious, I decided to learn more.

I read books and discovered that this belief system embraced a world of wizards, mediums, psychics, Ouija boards, and meditation. I went to see a psychic and was astonished that she could tell me personal things about myself. It felt strange, disturbing, and exciting all at once. Movies and television also glamorized this subject, and I found myself pulled into a world I didn’t fully understand.

I started meditating and visiting psychic fairs—this was a big business, and many people made a living from it. I read a book about a woman’s spiritual journey, how her spirit separated from her body and soared into space. She described being surrounded by white light and the peace she felt. I wanted that peace in my life, too. I wanted answers: what direction should my life take? Why wasn’t I happy? Was I just ungrateful? Maybe my spirit guide could help me find the answers.

So in 1992 I was doing something strange: praying in Hebrew each night and also meditating and seeking a spirit guide. In effect, I was setting the stage for a spiritual battle without realizing it. I did not expect what was coming.

My mother called and invited my father and me on a vacation to Arizona and Nevada. We planned to spend a few days in an Arizona town and then visit Rainbow Bridge at Lake Pala. It sounded wonderful, so I accepted. Events on that trip would shape the future course of my life.

The town in Arizona was beautiful but full of shops selling New Age products. I felt a strange spirit in that place, and I thought I would try to connect with my spirit guide. I did not realize there were evil spirits as well as good ones, or that my quest might open spiritual doors I could not close. I expected a peaceful journey—white light, travel through space and time. Instead, I had a spiritual experience that was definitely not peaceful.

When I innocently asked for a spirit guide to help me, the reality of a vast spirit world became apparent. I realized I was ill-equipped to handle what was happening. What I felt was a huge evil force beyond my comprehension. Evil beings are real; they are not cartoon characters or movie monsters. They are powerful, and I was afraid.

Afterward I tried to rest, but as soon as I closed my eyes I had vivid nightmares. Sleep left me for fear that I would not awaken. I was sick to my stomach and could not eat. I felt like an innocent child facing a mighty force I did not understand. This was not drug-, food-, or alcohol-related—I never partook in those substances. It was real.

I did not explain any of this to my parents, and I’ve never spoken about it to them. They knew something had happened but did not ask. We left that day to visit my cousin in Flagstaff. I was exhausted, and thoughts of my death coursed through my mind as I continued through this strange world of darkness. I yearned for something or someone to help me—but who or what could?